I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
nutella sex= disaster
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
