Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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