Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
