it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i drank out of a bidet.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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