I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
time to smoke my breakfast
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
