We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
