He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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