used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
