carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
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