well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize