I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize