R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
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