I wish i was in the wii world.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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