marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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