Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just had sex on a roof
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
