seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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