So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
