i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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