just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up under a house in Key West
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
