it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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