Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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