make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
