So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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