Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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