I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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