Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
