I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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