I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize