hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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