so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
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There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
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So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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