well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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