...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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