This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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