I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i dont even know how to be here
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Randomize
