Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
