Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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