Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
