if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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