he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
