That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
