Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
