her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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