is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
i've created a new STD.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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