I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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