why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
