I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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