is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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