Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
