yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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