it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
