Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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