Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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