The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
