i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
