the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
