can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She needs sedatives and a leash
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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