just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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