I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize