I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
