So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
