Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
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Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
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Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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