I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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