he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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