So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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