I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize