i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
